Why It’s Not So Rare to Get Pregnant after 45

Hope for Older Women Trying for Healthy Babies

Current conversations about fertility are failing the millions of women world-wide who are over 40 and trying to get pregnant. When we talk about the best time to conceive or  how much fertility declines with age, we talk past a huge community of women who are hoping to become mothers after 40.

I remember the recurrent sorrow and crazy-making frustration of trying to get pregnant, starting when I was first ready to become a mother—not until I was 41—and lasting until I was lucky enough to conceive my first child at age 45. She was born when I was 46 and she is, I’m incredibly grateful to report, now a healthy, happy 4 and a half year old. I also remember how unhelpful much of the discussion around fertility and age was, during those years when I was trying and failing to get pregnant or to carry a pregnancy to term, a time I’ve written about in my book, The Good Shufu.

Because here’s the thing: Women like these, and like I once was, are not in the position of deciding when to have a baby or whether they should try before reaching “advanced” or “very advanced maternal age.” The ship has sailed on that one. The reality is, they are already in their 40s, and the teeth-aching desire to meet and hold their baby has not declined with age.

Surprisingly, for women over 40 who want to conceive, the most relevant—and most hopeful—information isn’t even found where people usually look during discussions of fertility. Instead of focusing on studies comparing fertility at various ages or surveys of ART successes and failures, we should look to US census data on births and, perhaps paradoxically, to statistics on abortion, menopause, and sterility.

To be clear: I’m not arguing women should wait. I’m not arguing they shouldn’t. I’m saying that if a woman happens to be in her 40s and trying to conceive, she should know there actually is some hope, tempered though it may be. The chances are certainly smaller than when she was 25, and even 35. But that’s immaterial now. And it doesn’t by any stretch mean there is no chance. This point bears stressing and examining in the absence of comparisons with younger women.

Besides having given birth to a healthy baby conceive naturally when I was 45, I’ve also been unusually lucky to have heard from almost 1,000 women, aged 40+ who are trying to conceive or who are already pregnant and who have found me through this blog, then gone to my book’s website to contact me. I love hearing from all of you and am grateful to be privy to some of the uncensored thoughts, concerns, questions, and emotions being shared among this population.

Especially for those women 42 and older who get in touch, I hear frequently that they’ve either heard or just feel they have “no chance,” a “0%” likelihood of becoming mothers with their own eggs. A significant number also tell me they feel ashamed, have been told they’re “crazy” for thinking they might have a shot. These are the women I’m writing this for now. (And you go, ladies, for trying!)

Overlooked Stats Show Hope for Women 40+

Census statistics on live births & medical abortions

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/report002.pdf: According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, in 2016, there were 111,848 births, (1.1% of population) to women 40-44. This covers all births, not just births to women who were trying to conceive, suggesting that if all 40-44 year olds in 2016 tried to conceive every month, the percentage of women in this age group who’d had babies would be considerably higher. To women between 45-54 (with the great majority falling between 45-49), 9,025 babies were born.

Combining these stats with those on abortion in 2015 for the 40-44 age group, (20,962)–the latest age group and last year in which statistics were collected–and then dividing this number by 3 (accounting for expected 33% miscarriage rate in this age group), we could expect to add around 7,000 babies, totaling close to 120,000 births. This number would actually be a low estimate, since many miscarriages occur before scheduled abortion dates.

All together, we could expect between 125,000-130,000 live births in 2016 to women 40-49. Put into context, that’s a population of babies likely greater than the total population of most of our hometowns.

Perhaps most significantly, these statistics hold steady or decline only somewhat when viewing births before egg donation was available in the US (See births 1933-1998 @ https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/natality/mage33tr.pdf.)

Sterility & menopause

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12268772: According to a review of the literature pertaining to declining fertility with age, the likelihood of permanent sterility at age 40 is about 40% and at age 45 is about 80%, meaning one of out every five 45 year olds should be able to become pregnant at some point during their 45th year.

http://www.healthline.com/health/menopause/pregnancy#1: As explained by executive director emeritus of the North American Menopause Society Dr. Marjory Gass, pregnancy even in the mid-to-late 40s is not impossible for most women. “Never assume, ‘Oh, I’m too old to get pregnant,’” Gass has said. “Unless you have gone a year without a period–the technical definition of menopause—pregnancy remains a possibility.”

Birth defects & miscarriage

I get a lot of questions over email and on this blog about whether getting pregnant in the 40s, especially in the mid-40s, guarantees a miscarriage or a child with a genetic abnormality. Many women, myself included, field questions from family members about whether it’s even wise to get pregnant or hope for a positive outcome given the dire statistics on Downs, etc., for older mothers.

When viewed from the perspective of high the risks are compared to pregnancy at 25, the numbers do look grim. But when viewed from the perspective solely of the chances for a healthy baby at various ages throughout the 40s, the numbers are much more hopeful (and again, relevant):

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071156/: “For women at 42 years of age, more than half of the intended pregnancies (54.5%) resulted in fetal loss…The risk of spontaneous abortion [was] 84.1% by the age of 48 years or older.” So yes, these are scary statistics, and they aren’t great, but they are better than many people fear and assume, especially if we look at them in reverse, from the perspective of a positive outcome rather than negative: a 45% chance of success for a 42-year old to carry a pregnancy to term, and even a 15% chance of success for a 48-year old.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/6455611 & https://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/index.php/Genetic_risk_maternal_age : The estimated rate of all clinically significant cytogenetic abnormalities at age 40 is 15.8 per 1000, meaning we can expect between 98-99% of all babies will be born genetically healthy. For age 45, it’s 53.7 per 1000, or between 94-95% of babies. Even for women giving birth at 49, only 12.5% of babies will carry a genetic abnormality, meaning 87 out of every hundred babies will be born genetically average.

So if you’re out there now and are trying to conceive in your 40s, please know that I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping you have the same good luck I—and almost 9,000 other women aged 45-49 in the U.S. last year—had. And please know that I and thousands of other women are out there, pulling for you.

Note: For more about trying to get pregnant, you can also see An Honest Take at Getting Pregnant Naturally at 45Getting Through to Getting Pregnant at 45 and On Delivering My First Child at 46, other blog posts I wrote in the hopes of supporting people slogging through infertility, although some of the content from these is reproduced in this post.  Based on requests in the comment section of this blog and through email, I’ve started a new online group, New Mothers at 45 and Up, and I welcome you to join us there. Finally, if you’re still interested in my path to motherhood later in life, the story of how I met and fell in love with my husband and then went through years of IVF and finally got pregnant naturally, is in my book The Good Shufu

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121 thoughts on “Why It’s Not So Rare to Get Pregnant after 45

  1. Thank you,
    I am in my late 30’s, have been presented with obstacles and setbacks, you could say I got a late start to life. I feel stress, pressure and worry, even fear when thinking about if I will get the opportunity to have a child. Your story, positive outlook on the information given and interpretation of the state give me some calm, confidance and for that I am so grateful.

    With Gratitude

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    1. Hi Melanie. Thanks for leaving your comment. It sounds like you have been through so much. I remember how hard the years were when I was trying to get pregnant in my 40s, and I’m sorry you are struggling with this now too. But I’m keeping everything crossed that you have the same good luck I did. In the meantime, please know that I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts, too. All my best,

      Tracy

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    2. Wow what a positive and wonderful read! I’m 46 years old and naturally my husband and I have conceived baby #3. My older children are 8 and 5 and I had easy,uncomplicated pregnancies. Last week I had my 11-13 week ultrasound scan measuring spinal fluid ( trisomy 21 marker) along with looking closely at soft markers for other trisomies. With these scans and blood work they were able to determine my “risk level”. I think the genetic counsellor and my Dr alike were quite shocked to see my numbers come in as they did. I have defeated the odds for my age and results show my risk is equivalent to that of someone 11 years younger. It’s reassuring to see something positive with so much negativity placed on us “older” moms. It’s clearly not a guarantee I will carry to term but I am staying positive and I hope this gives hope to any others. I should mention, I’m now 13 weeks pregnant and no signs of trouble 🙂 I would love to hear of others experiences, especially those over 45

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Nicole. Huge congratulations on your pregnancy and making it to week 13, and thanks so much for sharing your great story with all of us here! I know many of this blog’s readers will be really encouraged to read about your wonderful news. If you get a chance (I know, with 2 kids a and a third on the way, not likely…), I’d love it if you could come back and update us as your pregnancy progresses and as your little one comes into the world. Besides the comments you see her, I also get so many emails from women who are encouraged that I was able to get pregnant naturally and have a healthy child at 46 (especially after so many years of failures), so I’m sure many others reading this now will be doubly encouraged to see the proof that I’m not the only one! In the meantime, please know that I’m wishing all the best for you and your family, and keeping everything crossed that your pregnancy continues as easily and well as it’s been so far. Thanks and congratulations again!

        Tracy

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      2. Hi…I am 45 this year and have been trying to conceive. The gynae don’t seem confident that I can conceive naturally with a healthy child. I am doubting myself too…the feeling of longing to carry my own child with my own egg is there but the fear of giving birth to a child with birth defect due to my age frightens me. Feel depressed at times.:(

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      3. Hi Catherine. Thanks for posting. I remember how hard and taxing the years were when I was trying to get pregnant, and I’m sorry you are struggling with this now too. It is really hard, I know.

        Please know that we are all pulling for you. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you all the very best luck in the world.

        Warmly,

        Tracy

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      4. Hi Nicole,
        I’m 46 and just found out a few days ago I’m 6 weeks pregnant (naturally). My husband and I are so happy except the fact that everything I’ve read has been negative. I have my first appt. on November 1st and feel apprehensive about the “unwelcoming” remarks we will receive by our medical professional. I already feel like our joy is put on hold. We just want a healthy baby. Did you ask for the testing to be done earlier than later or was it suggested by your OB/GYN?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hi SF. I know your comment was to Nicole (who commented herself, above) and not to me, but just wanted to say huge congratulations on your pregnancy. It *does* happen that women conceive naturally after their 45th birthdays and give birth to healthy babies at 46 and beyond. I’m wishing you all the very best. Please feel free to come back and keep us updated! And please know you have people out there pulling for you, your husband, and your little one. All my best,

        Tracy

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    3. Thank you so very much for this information. I am 46 as of last week with a two-week late period. As well as several other symptoms that would leave me to hope that I am pregnant. I suffered a blighted ovum 4 years ago with my then fiance now husband. It was probably the worst time in my life. I hope wish and pray that this time I am pregnant with a healthy baby even though the odds are low. You have inspired me and have given me some hope yet. Thank you so very much for your story.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Bettie. Thanks for your post. I’m glad you’ve found some hope here. Please feel free to come back and update us. Thinking of you and wishing you all the luck in the world!

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  2. i want you to know the fertility clinics will lie to you as well. I was 42 when I decided to marry and have a child. I made sure to ask my future husband if he wanted children and to have him checked out. he insisted he was fine, so did the fertility clinic. I was told in no uncertain terms that I would never have a child. heartbroken , if found out later, my husbands sperm count was only 50 million, 85 percent malformed, he never told me. neither did the clinic. my chances were stolen from me, when I reported this to the college of physicians and surgeons, they just supported the clinic. some lies, are just cruel, and you cannot forget them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Sandra. Thanks for your comment and for sharing your experiences. I’m so sorry to hear you had such a terrible experience with your clinic and with your husband. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that your next dreams come true. With all my very best wishes,

      Tracy

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      1. Thanks for such positivity.. my story is far from it.. started trying at 41 (I have 2 older kids) and 2 miscarriages later finally successful pregnancy at 44. Unfortunately ended by abortion at 16weeks due to positive test for T21… now 45 I am still dreaming. ..I have not been the same since, but trying to slow recover mentally and still hoping.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Tamara,

        I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. It sounds so devastating. Please know that I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and my heart, and wishing you a peaceful recovery, as well as all the luck in the world with your continued hopes.

        With my warmest and best wishes,

        Tracy

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  3. I can say that I’m not trying to conceive at 46 but we aren’t taking precautions. He’s 53 and does not want any more children, especially because he has grandchildren.

    I feel that if I do get pregnant, the baby is a gift. I would certainly welcome another child into my family.

    I hope those parents who want to conceive can do so. Statistics are just that, statistics.

    I believe parenting at this age could certainly be very fulfilling and maybe even exhausting. Beware of people who make negative comments, I believe that secretly some couples would love to conceive and have another child in their forties. of course, adding a baby into an empty nest may not be a shared idea.

    I wish all parents who want to conceive later in life have the chance to do so.

    Emmy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing your story and fanning the small flame of hope… to finally marry for the first time and have a child. Believing once again… the wait was all still part of God’s plan.

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    1. Hi Jennifer. Thanks for your lovely comment. I’m not sure how old you are, but I met my sweetie a bit late in life and didn’t get married until just before my 40th birthday, and I’m hoping that your own wait–for marriage and/or a little one–ends with your dreams coming true.

      Wishing you all the very best in the world,

      Tracy

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  5. I conceived naturally at almost 46 and have had the opposite experience I’m devisatated and didn’t want more children . I feel deceived by all the press saying you have a less then one percent chance . Yes u can have my luck I don’t want it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How can you leave this message on a website where women have been trying to conceive for decades and have not had the chance to become mothers, your lack of understanding and selfishness beggars belief!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Agree with you Susie!! This blog post is directed at women past 40 who are looking for hope that they can still have a baby, and this awful woman “Mollie” decides to use it to complain that she’s got what many of us still desire? Get some perspecitive “Mollie”!

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  6. Hello ladies,
    I’m 47 and very healthy, no pain, no complications at all. Exercise 5 days a week. I have 4 children: 29, 25, 15, & 11. All conceived naturally.
    And now that I’ve been single for 7 years and re-united with my high school sweetheart and father of my eldest son, we both wish to conceive a baby. He is 49 and I’m 47. We are very intimate, affectionate and sexually active 5 times a week.
    Please pray for me and wish me the best of luck to conceive and give birth to a healthy baby as I do to all of the women on here whom wish for the same.
    I will definitely come back on here to share my story – I will conceive and give birth to a healthy baby – AND SO IT IS..! :))

    – Jacquelynn B.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ok, It’s me Jacqueline..,

      It’s July 13th and I missed my menstrual period. 5 days late.. I feel the light nausea, I felt the cramps yesterday morning and followed by light brown spots, I feel one breast very soar, I got a cold, and lastly.., that sense of smell.. so odd…,

      Besides all of the above, I feel great. Still going to the gym 5 days a week for 45 mins and taking my vitamins: Vit D, Calcium, biotin, folic acid, spirulina mix, my protein shake and Turmeric Curcumin.

      I’m at 155 pounds, 5’5″ , no complicated menstrual cycles “ever” and never been to the hospital for any reason other than to give birth.

      So I am not worried at all…, as long as I stay away from the web-world… Searching up “pregnant and over 40…” all negative stuff that will make you have second thoughts and cause you to stress.

      Going to the doctor on Monday, 7/16. After that I’ll come back on here and give you details if I receive a BFP…!!! :))) YEH

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I am 43, have birth in Jan to healthy baby girl all natural conception. 4th csection. I took maca root as did my husband. Not sure if it helped but either way just wanted to add my story to let others know it’s possible. May shoot for fifth baby in 2 years.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. May you please tell me what kind/brand/dosage of maca root you used? And where purchased? Would love to incorporate. And many blessings to you!

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    1. when I went to the fertility clinic at Vancouver general hospital,, I was told straight out,, I would never have children. so forget it, I was 42. no one told me my husband was sterile. they left all that out. I found out by accident when I was approx. 50. I cannot believe the lack of concern for me that this clinic showed. Then they mocked me as mentally ill or “odd” for even imagining that I could have children.

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      1. Sandra, I’m so sorry to read about this awful experience. I hear from a lot of women in their 40s who feel judged for wanting to have a child later in life. I hope you’ve found some solace and healing after this. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.

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      2. Sandra, I can feel how devastating you feel. My husband also have the fertility problem and it was why we couldn’t conceive even with fertility clinic. Unfortunately when people see an old couple without kid, they always think the problem is from the woman. And it was very painful for me. But I keep praying and finally God give us a little healthy girl, conceived by succesful ivf . I am now 43 and my baby is 9 months. I believe in God’s plan, He may gives you to have baby naturally or by the technology, or He may gives you not having baby and it is not necessarly bad. Having baby is a blessing but not having a baby may also be a blessing (what make me frustrated is people always associate not having is negative).
        Thank you Tracy for your very optimistic article. It really give hope to women over 40 like me who wish to have babies. Because women now are more educated, more on the marketplace, and get married later then before, so when we are ready for having babies, we realize that we are already over 40…Your article give me hope that I can have a second baby in 2-3 years, at 45-46 years old, which is my wish.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful message, KD, and congratulations on your little one! I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you and your family as you try for your second one. All my very best to you and yours.

        Tracy

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  8. Thank you for your positive article. I am 44 years old and have 5 sons (24,21,20,19,17 &7). My husband and I just remarried and would love to try for our baby girl. Thank you for giving us hope when many others mock and laugh at us.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love this article! Thank you so much! I am 44 years old and 10 weeks pregnant with baby #9. This will be my 6th baby after 35. There are so many lies out there, and a general anti-baby, anti-family feeling, even at the OB/GYN office. We CAN conceive later in life and have healthy pregnancies. In our 40’s we are bettter moms than we were or would have been in our 20’s. Good luck to everyone out there who is trying for a baby and best wishes to all of you who have brought your lucky children into this world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Colleen. Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your story. And huge congratulations on your 9th! That is just incredible. And I love your comment about being better moms when we’re older. Wishing you and your little tribe all the very best!

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  10. My gyno told me when I was 42 yrs old that I shouldn’t waste my time or money on trying to get pregnant as it would never happen for me. Looking back, I was about a month pregnant when she said that. As I sat back in her room waiting for her to come in to see me about my news that I was pregnant, I heard her outside the door say to someone “crap, I told her she could never get pregnant”. Doctors are wrong all the time. If you want it, go for it. Ignore anyone who says you can’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I conceived my first baby naturally at 41 and delivered him at 42. He’s now 2 years old and the light of my life! Strongly considering having another even though I will be 45 in 3 months. Everyone thinks I’m crazy for even considering it. Thank you for your blog, it provides me with a lot of encouragement and hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Tess. So glad you’ve found some info here that provides support and encouragement. And congratulations on having your little one at 42! Fingers and toes crossed for #2… Please come back and update us when/if you have news. Wishing you all my very best.

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  12. I got unexpectedly pregnant at 41 after one night with a partner who had completed chemo a few months prior further stacking odds against me. I had been open to another child but was not actively trying. I gave birth to my 3rd child at 42 with no complications and he is now an almost 3 month old chubster. 😁 this was a 3rd csection but that had nothing to do with age but my needs after two previous csections. It can happen, easier than u might expect, when the time is right, it can be done!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I got pregnant through IVF with my first baby at 42 years old. I’m 45 years old now and I’m trying to get pregnant with baby # 2. Now, we are trying naturally since our dr told us, I should try an egg donor for better chance. We don’t want donor so, we are trying since the beginning of the year, not luck so far. We decided to keep trying until the end of the year. I really hope we can give a sibling to my son.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I am 46 and 6 weeks pregnant naturally with my husband. I have 3 children ages 13,11, and 5. I had 2 miscarriages in the past 2 years. This pregnancy, my hcg numbers look good and a doubling every 48 hrs, so I am hopeful this pregnancy will move forward and result in a live baby! Is there a support group for pregnant women over age 45?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Huge congratulations, Gina! Please keep us updated, and in the meantime, I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you and the little one. I’ve actually had a number of questions lately through my email/contact form about support groups for older pregnant women. I don’t know of any, but perhaps we should start one on Facebook or something. In any case, excited for you, and wishing you all the very best!

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  15. My husband and I have been together for 5 years. I am 46 and he shortly 48. We both have other children. I had 2 miscarriages within the first 8 months at age 41. Then no luck for 2.5 years. Got pregnant at 44, spontaneously, and we knew it was a boy, (my first boy!) and that he had Down Syndrome. He was born premature by c section but also had a rare condition, hydrops fetalis, and died in our arms in the nicu at a month old. We have been trying since for another pregnancy and I’m so broken that we lost our beautiful boy so cruelly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Amanda. I’m so sorry to learn of your devastating loss. Please know that I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you all the very best luck and light in the world. In sadness but also in deep admiration for your strength at getting through and keeping on,

      Tracy

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  16. I just found your blog and am so happy I did. I want to add a hopeful note. Though I had two children in my twenties, my husband and I thought the chances of us having another child in our 40s was gone. So we were pleasantly surprised when I got pregnant naturally at 40 and then again at 44. While there were definitely complications (gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, growth restriction, c-sections, etc.) and a lot of time spent with doctors and in hospital, both kids are wonderful, and healthy and yes even breastfed. Your body is amazing and resilient. And while some people may mistake me for my kids’ grandma (yes this happens), I just smile and say,”no, I’m mom and blessed.” Hope someone out there finds encouragement in these words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen, thanks so much for posting your story! I love hearing from other older moms, and I know a lot of others out there love it too. I get comments here and direct emails from so many women saying they are longing for hopeful stories, and I know yours will mean a lot. Best to you and your little tribe!

      Warmly,

      Tracy

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  17. love all this positivity!! I have 3 boys 9,7, and 4 and I am 45. I found out I was pregnant at 45 naturally and then just miscarried last week. I am hoping to try again but I feel like well that was it and it didn’t take?? it took 3 years to get pregnant I finally get pregnant and lose it. ugh probably won’t be that lucky again?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Pamela,

      Thanks for leaving your message and sharing some info about your experience. I’m really sorry to read of your loss. Please know that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for all the very best luck in the world for you.

      With all my best wishes,

      Tracy

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  18. Finally something positive online about pregnancy at 45. I shouldn’t have researched, because it’s all just so depressing. I naturally conceived all 3 of my kids (12,10,8), and 2 of them after 35. I’m now 45 and just found out this week I’m pregnant, naturally. The stats online are so ridiculous, less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally with your own eggs? How is that? It seems it’s possibly a ploy from fertility drug companies to make women think they need drugs or egg donors, or IVF. My husband and I are thrilled to be expecting, but I’m cautiously holding my breath at the same time. I’m most nervous about going to my first prenatal when they see my age…sad but true. I think someone mentioned starting an fb group for those of us pregnant 45 and older. Count me in!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know what you mean…. Just had my lo five months ago. And I’m 43! The plus side is that the doctor takes you more seriously. Best of luck to you! Hope all goes well and that you get enough rest before the baby comes. Ps… Also hoping your new one sleeps well for you when she comes.

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    2. Izzy–huge congratulations on your pregnancy! I will let everyone on the blog and on my mailing list know when I get the chance to start up the FB group for women at 45 and up who are pregnant. In the meantime, if you come across anything else helpful, please feel free to let us know. And congratulations again. Keeping everything crossed for you and yours.

      Tracy

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  19. I’m 43…. And looking at my beautiful, healthy, five month little girl napping! My last baby was at age 36. Then the following years we didn’t think I would conceive. Yes, this pregnancy was tougher. But, we all are doing good. Word of advice…. Take trace minerals. We took them for about a month….both of us… And then I conceived. That wasn’t our goal. Our goal was just being healthy. Just focus on being healthy right now. Focus on the food you eat. Don’t take a million supplements. Just the basics. And, it will happen for you. And, when it does, you will be so thankful that you ate healthy.i was also told by genetics counselor that good nutrition a year before conception affects the odds of genetic issues during pregnancy. So, just focus on you. Eat healthy. Be happy. And, it will work out.

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  20. Yes please count me in if there is a FB group. I turned 45 in October this year, currently seeking an active pregnancy with my own eggs. I am ovulating still and finally having regular periods. I’ve been told the odds are 1% chance but I am still going to try. I go in for an ultrasound today to check the follicle size. Does anyone have any other tips for trying other than patience? Any diet recommendations? I feel like the only risk factor I have is my age, everything else is great!

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  21. Hi ladies. Well I’m hoping to offer a glimmer of hope to all of you in your 40s reading all the negative comments. I conceived my first child naturally, after three months of trying, at the “ripe old age” of 42. My pregnancy was wonderful without complications. She was 9 days late so I was induced and after 12 hours of labour my OB suggested a non emergency C section. She was 8 pounds 7 ounces. I recovered from that quickly with a small scar. I have an incredibly healthy, smart, funny and happy 3 year old now. Luckily my husband is ten years older with endless energy but I credit my health to being vegan, having an active lifestyle, not drinking or smoking or doing drugs. Having a positive outlook on life and not stressing over the small stuff. Stress shuts down your digestive and reproductive health so setting positive intentions and trusting that what happens is meant to be and letting go will help your body receive what’s meant to be. That’s just my belief. I was very happy with just having one child – sometimes feeling a bit guilty that she wouldn’t have the gift of a sibling. Well I just found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant and I’m 45! I thought I was supposed to be going into menopause!! We’re in shock but also happy. I’m trying to remain optimistic and realistic at the same time and really not enjoying all the negativity out there. Yes I have been lucky but I think times have changed and we’re evolving and miracles are happening more and more. Wish me luck. I really hope I get to experience another healthy pregnancy and baby after I turn 46! Yikes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Christina. Thanks for leaving your comment, and congratulations on your pregnancy! Please feel free to come back and update us. In the meantime, I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you all the best luck in the world as you get further along into the pregnancy. Be well! All my very best wishes,

      Tracy

      Like

  22. I am so grateful to have found this website!! I am 48 years old and have finally met the love of my life. Although we are both parents (he is 51 and he is a grandparent), we have decided that we are going to try for a natural pregnancy. I know people will think we are crazy, but I could honestly care less. I am healthier than most 20 somethings. I am doing fertility restoration through an acupuncturist as well as supplements and diet. I still have very regular cycles and I ovulate. I feel so good knowing that there are others out there that view it as a blessing as we do and have had positive results and great attitudes! I am very hopeful and have a very calming feeling that I will be able to conceive. Its up to God not me, but I am at peace with it. I will keep you posted. The FB group is a great idea!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad you like the site, Lea! It’s great that you’re able to be so proactive with your health, and that you still have really regular cycles. Will be wishing you the very best luck! And I will let you and everyone here know when I finally get the FB group going. We have just moved from one continent to another and I have been really behind on everything since trying to get settled in our new place. All my best to you!

      Like

  23. At a point in my life where I find myself befuddled, overwhelmed and yet determined to conceive and carry a healthy baby to term after losing 2 (surprising) pregnancies in a 3 month span at age 44, finding this article couldn’t have come at a better time. Thank you for giving me the boost I need to push forward.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Wonderful!
    I am always amazed at how involved people make their doctors and their doctors opinions when they are trying to conceive. When did we start believing we needed to be guided or directed on our own abilities? I know my body.
    You dont need a doctor to make a baby…unless of course your husband is a doctor 😉
    Good luck!

    Like

  25. I got pregnant at the age of 39 And I had only just started a relationship with the father, and then at the age of 45 with the same man after a menstrual period that only lasted half a day. I had an ultrasound on my fallopian tube six months prior to both conceptions, where they push it through the choose to see if they are blocked or not. I’m confident this cleared the way for a successful pregnancyAnd I’m confident I would’ve got pregnant more often if I’d had this done more regularly or if i had had younger clearer Fallopian tubes. The other things I did that other women in their 40’s generally don’t do is have regular sex . People seem to forget that important factor. I love women in their 40s got pregnant when the man got back from the first and second world wars to be reunited with their wives. I’m sure the reason the statistics show voice-year-olds don’t get pregnant as readily as younger women is because we don’t have as much sex. Men consider us over the hill in our 40’s and lose interest, often looking elsewhere. We also lose interest as we get older. I also do not eat wheat/gluten and very little sugar, because it does not agree with me. I can’t comment on whether this is relevant or not. I exercise regularly and stay out if the sun. Also, from time to time I have acupuncture to help with digestive issues but the procedure helps get all bodily functions and rhythms back to normal including pregnancy hormones. I was having this in the weeks before I conceived at the age of 45. I was also taking melatonin tablets to help me sleep but had only just started taking them a week before I conceived. Belgian research suggests women produce very little of this compared to our younger counterparts as they get older and it is a vital to the cell division process. Finally, I wasn’t trying to get pregnant when I can see you both times. I need to just try and live a normal life and not think about it. I hope these tips help others get pregnant during their 40s.

    Like

  26. I Love this article! I, too, became pregnant with my own eggs naturally at age 45 & gave birth to a healthy baby girl a month before I turned 46. She has been such a joy & has 5 older brothers, as when I was in my 20s & early 30s I gave birth to 5 boys! Thought I was a boy Mom forever and then my little princess happened 14 years after I gave birth to my 5th boy! So happy to hear your story & because they say at age 45 it is near impossible to become pregnant with your own eggs, I am curious how many women 45 & older give birth without any assistance of fertility, etc. I was not even trying when I got pregnant with her, she was meant to be for sure, just as every precious baby is!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shannon, thanks so much for leaving your happy story here and for adding to the positive news on the blog! And huge congratulations on your little ones (or one little one and 5 big ones!). Sending all the best to you and yours.

      Like

  27. I am so happy to read all of your posts. I’m 47 and have been trying to conceive for 3 years after finally meeting the “one”. I started immediately with fertility and donor eggs due to low AMH. I’ve had 3 miscarriages and am currently going through my 4th due to a blighted ovum. I can not go through another IVF regime. I’m so tired of the disappointment and overload of hormones. I’m devastated currently, but still so desperately want to be a Mom. I don’t know if it will be possible at this point to try and conceive naturally, but I’m going to give it a shot. 3 years, $80,000, and 4 miscarriages and still no baby. Why not???

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Missy. Thanks for leaving your message and sharing some of your story, and I’m so sad to hear of your recent loss. It sounds like you’ve been through so much. Whatever happens, what you’ve gone through is an incredible testament to your love for the baby you so desperately hope to have. In admiration for your strength and courage,

      Tracy

      Like

    2. I conceived naturally at 47 in August 2018, but unfortunately miscarried in October 2018. But I have read about other women who conceived naturally at 47 and carried a healthy baby to term. I am still TTC at 48 and still hopeful.

      Like

  28. It’s so nice to read positive stories where this topic is concerned. But being that I am over 45, I wonder if your experience only applies to a woman who is healthy for the most part. For example, being that I have issues with severe anemia, reoccurring fibroids, and heavy, abnormal periods, do I really stand a chance at having a healthy pregnancy? I was holding out hope until after having my first myectomy, the tumors, pain, and discomfort all returned a few years later. FEE VERY SAD-Kate

    Like

    1. Hi Kate. Thanks for leaving your comment and question. Since I have no medical training, I don’t know whether the health issues you mention make pregnancy after 45 impossible. It is true that I’ve been relatively healthy through my 40s, and I assume that helped me somewhat, but again, I have no scientific or even particular knowledge to back that up. What I do know, however, is that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping for only good things for you. Please know you have people out there pulling for you, and thinking of you in your sadness and your health struggles. With all my very best wishes in the world,

      Tracy

      Like

      1. I believe the state of your health was factor as well. I will try to be optimistic and continue to consult with the professionals. Thanks for the prompt reply and comforting words!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Kate I can somewhat sympathize with what you’re going through. 2 years ago, in an attempt to uncover the reason behind my hideously heavy periods, I had a hysteroscopy, a scope of my uterus. It revealed a small, inconsequential fibroid, and polyps. The polyps were removed but nothing else has changed. I am still slightly anemic, have periods that look like I should be miscarrying and I have the one, albeit small, fibroid. Although neither resulted in a full-term pregnancy, I conceived twice this past summer naturally and I wasn’t trying (but I wasn’t trying to prevent it either). I will be 45 in a month. Since those losses, I have never wanted something so badly in all my life. My suggestion is to keep trying. Seek help and insight from a medical professional and if you’re not satisfied with what they have to say or offer, find someone else. You are your own best advocate when it comes to your body and your health. Stay the course. Best of luck to you.

      Like

  29. I’m so happy that there are sites like this offering hope to women in their 40s. I am 45 and scheduled to be induced in 3 days at a full-term 40 weeks. This pregnancy was the result of a one-time contraceptive “slip-up” 6 months after delivering a healthy baby, conceived naturally at the age of 44, with no complications to myself or baby. While this is now my 6th delivery so clearly fertility has not been an issue, my cycles are actually more regular now than when I was in my 20s. I am old enough to have learned to read my body, and can even tell you when and which side I ovulate from each month. With age I have also learned so much more about health and wellness that my body is in better overall health than it was 20 years ago. I’m sure this has also helped maintain fertility, but the point is, women at this age can absolutely become pregnant and carry healthy babies just like women half our age. My blood work also showed the lowest possible percentages for chance of chromosomal defects both times. Don’t be discouraged by the “stats” from fertility clinics about older moms. Relax, take care of your body, and enjoy the process!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rachel, thanks so much for leaving this great news on the blog! I know many readers will really appreciate hearing your story, and I love hearing from other women who had successful later-life pregnancies. Wishing you the very best of luck with the delivery!

      Tracy

      Like

  30. You ladies making me not to give up and still to continue with IVF even I’m already 46.
    I did 5 IVF treatments and all of them were no success. 10 days ago I had 3 day transfer and today I got a negative answer. I felt very crushed.

    Like

    1. keep trying and good luck when I went for fertility counselling at 42. genesis fertility located in the Vancouver general hospital told me to forget it, I was too old. they never tried anything, and they never mentioned that my husband was sterile. when I found out, it was soul destroying. So, if you have a fertility clinic that is working honestly and diligently with you,,, you have aces up your sleeve.

      Like

  31. I gave birth to 4 children when I was 19, 21, 32, and 42. They were all conceived naturally and were all healthy. I can say that having a baby in my forties was the hardest, but the most rewarding. I wasn’t trying to conceive. It was a shock. My second husband was 50 and medically infertile. I had been recently diagnosed with Lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. I had been having seizures and major depression. I was on a multitude of medications and did not find out I was pregnant until 4 months along. My doctor encouraged me to abort. I would not. I did no genetic testing. I had to have an emergency appendectomy at 21 weeks. My daughter was born vaginally and on time…perfectly healthy. If she had had Down Syndrome or some other issue, I would still love and cherish her…those things can happen when you give birth in your 20’s, too. Statistics really do not mean much. The good Lord wished my sweet Adelaide to be born to us at that time. She is 4 now and a joy in my life. Do not give up trying for children if that is your desire. Do not listen to negativity from anyone. Beautiful miracles happen every day, all around us. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Great to hear so many good stories. I am 45 and am in early pregnancy stages after having my son at 39. The doctor was very doom and gloom and hopes I miscarry soon….”let nature take its course”

    Like

  33. I experienced my first and only, very healthy and happy pregnancy through IVF when I was 43. Sadly, I miscarried 5 months in because of cervical incompetence. I was devastated. We went through two additional IVF cycles at 44, but the embryos were not healthy. I have pretty much given up now that I have recently turned 46. The comments here are so incredibly encouraging. I do hope that you will find the time to start the FB page. I’d love to learn from and be encouraged by the women who follow your blog. Clearly, I need to dedicate more time to eating right and exercising and having MORE SEX! 🙂 You all are funny. But, I do feel flickers of hope reemerging. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Susan. I’m so sorry to read of your loss. I’m glad some of the information you found here has been helpful and hopeful, and I love your voice and sense of humor. And I finally started the FB page! I just put it up. It’s a closed group, but if you search for it on Facebook under “New Mothers 45 and Up” or here (https://www.facebook.com/groups/651842948606644/), you can join it. I’ll put this info on the homepage of the blog, too. Thinking of you lots!

      Like

  34. hı ı’m 46 and half and ı had a miscarriage a week ago. ı have a healthy son of 16 years old.ı hope to get pregnant again as soon as possible no matter it sounds quite crazy. so many encouraging stories ı’ve seen here. thank you very much for your blog. so please just pray for me too.With all my very best wishes to all of you.thank you

    Like

  35. Good afternoon, I was so happy to read your blog, my name is Carmon and I am pregnant at 46 years old naturally. I miscarried 7 years ago and have been in complete shock that I am pregnant.
    Yesterday was my 8 week check and they saw a sac and yolk sac but no fetal pole which was heartbreaking. The doctor said I could wrong on my weeks so I go back next Friday .
    I have two children 22 and 17 and of course never had these issues but it feels horrible to get the speech about progressive age etc. and to top it off if the baby has not developed I need to terminate.
    Just thankful someone has had successful births in their 40s.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Carmon. Thanks for leaving your comment and telling us a little bit about your story. Please know that I am keeping everything crossed for you and your little one. And please come back and update us if you like. In the meantime, I’ll be thinking of you and yours and wishing you all the best luck in the world.

      Like

  36. My partner and I have been together for over a year. This is my first relationship. Two years ago I started to deal with the reality of the effect that being sexually abused throughout my childhood had on me. I’ve learned that I am loveable. I have always wanted children but obviously never was in a place for that to happen. My partner and I have decided that we are going to try for a baby, even though I am 45. I feel joy at the prospect. Of course I hope we are successful but I will cope if we don’t. I have the strength. What I am struggling with is the sense of humiliation at the thought of anyone knowing that this is a deliberate choice. Instead of being able to enjoy any positive aspects that belongs to this process, I feel that i have to keep this secret. This article and the stories on here give me hope and help to make feel a little less selfish and foolish. Thank you all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Amber. Thanks for your comment and for writing a bit about your story. Sounds like you’ve accomplished so much with all you’ve learned and overcome. I hear from a lot of women in the 40s that they feel embarrassed or ashamed for trying to get pregnant, and even for being pregnant at a slightly older age, so you are not alone in these feelings, not by a long shot. But I can’t see anything embarrassing or shameful in the least about wanting to meet and love your baby and helping that baby grow into a wonderful human being. I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you and your partner, and wishing you both all the best luck in the world.

      With my very warmest wishes,

      Tracy

      Like

  37. Hi,
    I am glad having found your site. First of all, sorry for my bad english. I am from Europe, my native language is german. I am 45, soon getting 46, I would love to have a Baby, but i was told, it is impossible. There is almost no Chance. Also, Generally discussed, it is unresponsible having a child at this age. I am happy to get in contact with women at my age trying to get pregnant and having a child.
    I am praying that this miracle will happen to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Astrid. Thanks for leaving your comment and for your kind words. I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you! Please know you have someone out there hoping for your miracle, too.

      Sending you all my very best,

      Tracy

      Like

  38. I turned 47 last month and discovered this month that I am pregnant – 6 weeks. We were not trying to conceive. So far all the blood work is good and we are doing scans next week to confirm dates, if multiple, etc. My doctor is more freaked out than I am, it’ll be baby number 4 for me. The first 3 are aged 28, 14 and 13.
    She tells me I’m referred to as an elderly pregnancy and she’s never had anyone as old as me before. She wants to refer me to the top women’s hospital in our state because I am so ”high risk’ :-/
    I genuinely feel really good. I’m not a smoker or drinker, no diabetes or blood pressure issues. Slightly overweight but in good health.
    Wish me luck ❤ We didn't plan this baby but now that it's decided to join us I couldn't be happier.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Hi I am so happy to read this article because I am thinking of another child at 44 and every article says how impossible and ill conceived it is to have “advanced maternal age!” Then they all talk about egg donation. Your article really puts perspective in focus for women who are over 40 and it’s nice to have information that isn’t only a negative scare tactic. So thank you I will be digging around your blog for more insight and trying to stay away from the discouraging messages. Do you know how older mothers do who are trying to conceive after giving birth many years before? Do they have better odds conceiving than first time older mothers?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi M. Thanks for your comment and your kind words about the information you’ve found on the blog. I don’t know for sure if there is a difference, in terms of successful pregnancies, between older mothers who had children previously and those trying for the first time, although I’ve heard it’s easier to get pregnant at a later age than it is if you’ve never had kids. In my case, my natural pregnancy at 45 resulted in the birth of my first child, but I know I’m not the norm.

      In any case, please know that I’m keeping everything crossed for you!

      With all my best wishes,

      Tracy

      Like

  40. I was 45 when I conceived naturally my fifth child on 2014. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant but I thought it near impossible. I was wrong. My pregnancy was full term. I did develop gestational diabetes. My delivery was quick and natural. My baby was born healthy and she is my joy. She has been a blessing. She is 5 months younger than my grandson . I love to see them play together. So for those women that may be trying in their forties it may not be as easy but is possible. I was also pregnant at the age of 42 but that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. So there is hope.

    Like

    1. Thanks, Mandy, for telling us some of your story. I’m sure if will offer much-appreciated hope to other readers of the blog. Congratulations on all five of your little (and now big!) ones, and on your grandchild or grandchildren. All the best to you and yours,

      Tracy

      Like

  41. I found this article very very helpful. Now, I would appreciate any further info you can give me because I am going nuts with this, running around in circles and running out of time.
    I am 44 (4 months to 45), healthy, good AMH, never been pregnant, no partner. It took me a lot of time and courage to finally see a specialist to try this on my own. I was under the (fake) impression that they could screen and find a good egg and do IVF with sperm donor. I went to 2 different specialists last week with different opinions. 1) said his preferred choice was egg donor. As an alternative, he coudl try IVF with my own eggs but (without even looking at my test resutls), just based on my age said I would need at least 3 rounds and it would be very expensive. He didn’t even want to talk about IUI or natural pregnancy,at my age it was a NO NO. 2) the other specialist said that I should go straight to egg donation, they wouldn’t even take me for IVF with my own eggs becuase of the very low chances of success, and to be careful cause other docs will just take my money. She didnt even looking at my test results, btw. BUT she also said that “a lot of women still get pregnant naturally and delivering healthy babies. That the body has a natural mechanism to sort of rule out bad eggs and get the good ones to work. I am trying to get a THIRD opinion, but hard to get an appointment. Thats why I came to the forum. Basically, I am thinking that if there is still a chance for artificial insemination, why not try it before I go the expensive and physically demanding rounds of IVF. What do people think?

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Hi, I’ve conceived seven times since the age of 36.
    I’ve delivered five healthy babies at the age of 37, 39, 41, 43 & 44.
    You do have hope! Ladies are conceiving all the time past 40! It definitely is harder on your body the older you get . Just rest as much as you can if you become pregnant.
    Prayers for everyone !

    Liked by 1 person

  43. This info provides such great hope. I’m 45 and have tried to conceive naturally for the last year (was 44 when we started) after being told that I was healthy and should still be able to get pregnant on my own by my gyno. I met my boyfriend later in life and we want children. After undergoing many tests, I found out my right fallopian tube is blocked (no clue why as I have always been healthy). Was told that the only way I can get pregnant now at this age with my eggs is via IVF. I am not happy about this but time is ticking away and I don’t want to lose out on the time I do have left. After finding out all my current levels (AMH 1.83, FSH 4.3, LH 5.4, Prolactin 13.2, Estradiol 70%). I’m sharing these levels so anyone who reads this can compare (I also am taking Ubiquinol CoQ10 200mg 3x daily, DHEA25 3x daily, prenatal vitamins). I was told that I am in the top 10% for my age group which is not typical. I am feeling very thankful because of this and more hopeful that my boyfriend and I will have luck via IVF (which we plan on starting this June 2019 before I turn 46 in Sept). I wish everyone the best of luck on this journey to having a family. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Desirae. Thanks for leaving your comment and for telling us a bit about your situation, and I’m wishing you all the best luck in the world as you start your IVF round next month. If you’re looking for more support and more women to connect with who might be going through similar experiences, feel free to join us on the Facebook group I started–based on requests from readers of this blog–for new moms, moms-to-be, and women TTC at 45+. We are @ https://www.facebook.com/groups/651842948606644/ . Keeping everything crossed for you!

      All my best,

      Tracy

      Like

  44. Thank you everyone for giving hope. At 45, I am now ready to have a baby. Unfortunately, my fiance doesn’t seem to feel the same way. He has 4 kids already and I have none. My heart has been hurting over it. Not sure what to do as my IVF doctor says I have a slim chance and running out of time. I cry daily over everything. I would have had children already, but my ex husband cheated and others were in a different place in life.
    Thank you for the hope that it is never too late.

    Like

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